Editorial: Hangover Diary

Hangover Diary
00:15. Leave Ian’s birthday party after stealing the clitoris of his vulva cake.
01:00. Go to bed extremely drunk after 2 drinks over 5 hours.
09:00. Receive snapchat from Ian - a picture of Ian hungover in a bus, captioned “hungover in a bus”.
10:00. Wake up by phone call from Mother. Answer in a series of variously tuned “mhmm”s. Mother gathered that I’m still asleep and makes plans to call back in an hour.

Editorial: My Friend Is Too Layz

My friend Bob just called me to ask if he could come to Golden Words Pressnite with a Tupperware container to bring home some Rahim’s Cuisine leftovers. As I do not feel entitled to the complimentary refreshments for our staff, and as an obliged good friend, I couldn’t say no.

Editorial: Snapchat!

Since it took off about a year ago, many people I know (including myself - meta) have been using the popular app called Snapchat. For those of you who don’t know what snapchat is (hi Mom!), look it up, dumbass. If you think this is a newspaper for facts, you can get the fuck out.
Now that they’re all gone, I’ll continue. And by continue, I mean rant on about how Snapchat is an evil service that must be destroyed!

Editorial: Queen's is the Home for You

Trigger warning: This editorial casually mentions of things such as drug abuse, sex abuse, childhood abuse, and other kinds of depressing things.
It is heartwarming to see all the students back at Queen’s again. Such bright young minds all gathering in this beautiful university, working towards a better future. The days are warm enough for shorts and skirts, and the nights are just cool enough to make the purple GPAs seem weather appropriate. This is truly an inspiring and hopeful time of the year.

Editorial: Pole!

As an Artsci, I get to experience many privileges that other faculties don’t, such as a light class schedule, a 2:1 female-to-male ratio and… fuck, that’s about it. Filmies such as myself have a brand new building, but everyone else has to take classes in Mac-Corry, a building whose worst feature is not in fact that you can get lost in it, but that its design motif makes you feel like you’re about to get stabbed in a subway station. Did you know that Mac-Corry has skylights? It does, but no one notices.

Editorial: I Hate Summer

As I sit in this gloomy upstairs dungeon listening to the misery of the Kingston rain, looking forward to the next eight months of utter hopelessness and depression, I reach the following epitome: I hate summer.
Because the last four months were the worst four months of my life; even worse than the following eight months will ever be. Actually, come to think of it, every year’s May to August is the worst May to August of that year. But this summer, it has been the worst. 

Editorial: FROSH!

Hey Frosh! Since this is probably your first taste of Queen’s journalism, I’m just gonna launch straight into an uninformed rant to get you used to how things work around here.
This is my first Queen’s frosh week where I have not been a participant and when you are able to stand back and (drunkenly) look at it...holy shit guys. It is absolute chaos out there! Im not sure if you guys realize how insane this whole thing looks.

Senior ‘I know better than you do’ Editorial: Long Distance Relationships

Hey there Frosh! By now you’ve already settled into residence and convinced yourself that this is the best week of your life. You’ve walked through the streets of the student ghetto University District, overpaid for a few keggers, tried your ‘totally real’ fake I.D. at Stages, and most importantly REMAINED LOYAL TO YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND. Because let’s face it, what you guys have is special. Everyone knows that your first love is the most likely to last the longest, i.e. forever.

Editorial: Summer

As many of you noticed, and then immediately complained about on social media, there was a recent spring snowstorm in Kingston. Which can only mean one thing: summer is just around the corner!
Yeup. Southern Ontario is subject to a warm summer continental climate system. That means that the weather can be subject to both cold, dry arctic air masses as well as warm, moist sub-tropical air masses, which can collide and create basically a clusterfuck of weather patterns. Yeah, that’s right - I took GPHY 102 and spent many an afternoon on Wikipedia. Science!

Editorial: English can suck my dick

Being a Chinese-Canadian first generation immigrant is not easy. We often face various types of discrimination and suffer through negative stereotypes. One example: everyone expects us to be smart. Fuck you for putting extra pressure on our academic performance and using us as an excuse for your own incompetence. These kinds of stereotypes are harmful to the harmony of our lives, and are simply untrue. Not every Asian person is smart! I just happen to be one of the smartest people in existence, that’s all.