Sam Editorial: The Book of Jengesis

Welcome, friends, to the mystical and wild universe that we live. One where Jenga is at the root of every fibre of our universe. The Jenga Model of the atom has recently been discovered by esteemed scientist Albert Jengastein, totally validating the beliefs of Jengites worldwide. The Jengite movement began in the earliest centuries of history when Moses came down from Mount Sinai holding not two stone tablets but 54 stacked blocks containing the rules for living as an honest Jengite. 

Syd Editorial: All Board Games Matter

I had no say in the theme of this issue, but whatever, Jenga is cool or something. I don’t know, whatever. I don’t think it would be fair to dedicate an entire bloody issue to a dumb af board game without giving nod to some other dumb af games, be they board or otherwise. It is selective and unfair to other equally good board (more like bored, eh?) games to single out one as having the most merit. I’d like to argue the pros and cons of other games in order to have some semblance of board game equality in this paper. 

Sam Editorial: The Underground is Going Down

As everyone now knows Justin Bieber Night has come and gone for the second time at the Underground, signalling the second time most of campus has genuinely gotten excited about the prospect of waiting in line at the JDUC while blitzed. And while some may misinterpret that sentence as sarcasm it is entirely sincere, I love the Underground. It is by definition one of the best dankholes in Kingston. Undies takes the warmth, hip friendliness of the Brooklyn and couples it with a Stage’s inspired darkened portion of the dancefloor for people to make out.

Guest Editorial: Dangers of a Phone Camera

We, as a species, are nearly unstoppable. Humankind has gone on to achieve previously unimaginable feats from the creation of insulin to sending people into space. However, I argue science has gone too far in giving any schmuck with an iPhone the ability to instantly send someone a high resolution picture of their junk.

Sam Ed: Focus Festival

The Queen’s Focus Film Festival is a non-profit, three-day guerrilla film-making competition at Queen’s University. A bunch of amateur filmmakers had last weekend to put a film together and it’s going to be screened at a gala on the 28th. I know that because I googled them, and that’s the extent of the information I’m willing to divulge about the festival. Why?

Syd Ed: A Piss Poor Account of how the Kingston Transportation System doesn’t entirely Suck

I’ll start by saying, much to my humiliation, that this is entirely a true story, or as true as I can recall–as my memory was somewhat compromised at times. It all started with an innocent birthday dinner with a couple of friends, that turned into a nightmare I never knew was possible. 

Sam Ed: Don't Take Care of Your Mental Health

I’d like to start this editorial with a welcome back. To some of you, this is your last semester. To others, you’ve just finished your first semester of university complete with all of its (alleged) goat-blowing milestones. But hey, it’s 2016 now, and statistically speaking by the time you read this paper you’ll only have reneged on 78% of your New Year’s resolutions. The reality of #newyearnewme is sinking in and there’s no filter on the Instagram photo of life. Excuse my while I pick up my mike, it’ll take me a second because I just dropped it so hard

Sydney Editorial: The Five Stages of Having a Crush

Since you first have a sexual awakening caused by an awkwardly attractive cartoon character (bonus points if it was a cartoon animal, Mufasa ftw) you’ve likely been experiencing crushes. Crushes, though they seem like a nice little way to occupy your time, are the actual worst. I mean they are called crushes for fucks sake, which totally insinuates that you will be crushed. Not a pleasant experience, if you ask me. Unsurprisingly, I have found that the stages of crushing on someone are paralleled with the stages of grief. 

Sam Editorial: Rant on Evil Itself

Hey guys and gals, I’m here to spread the word of truth to those of you who can avoid the painful mistakes that I’ve made. Way back in 2014 when I was young and naive, my housemates and I made that decision. God, it’s so easy to see in retrospect, how could we have been so blind. Sorry I’m getting choked up. What happened was in early August of 2014 we signed an agreement with Bell to provide us internet. 

Sam Editorial: How To Handle HIGH Explosives Whilst Drunk Off Your Ass

Dear Reader, I can’t speak for how we got here. Whether it was a series of inenviable circumstances beyond your control or a series of mindbogglingly imbecilic decisions is your story to tell. All I know is that your situation currently is thus: you’re holding a detonator, booster, emulsion and cords and you’re so lit that you can barely see straight.