Syd Ed: A Piss Poor Account of how the Kingston Transportation System doesn’t entirely Suck

I’ll start by saying, much to my humiliation, that this is entirely a true story, or as true as I can recall–as my memory was somewhat compromised at times. It all started with an innocent birthday dinner with a couple of friends, that turned into a nightmare I never knew was possible. 

Sam Ed: Don't Take Care of Your Mental Health

I’d like to start this editorial with a welcome back. To some of you, this is your last semester. To others, you’ve just finished your first semester of university complete with all of its (alleged) goat-blowing milestones. But hey, it’s 2016 now, and statistically speaking by the time you read this paper you’ll only have reneged on 78% of your New Year’s resolutions. The reality of #newyearnewme is sinking in and there’s no filter on the Instagram photo of life. Excuse my while I pick up my mike, it’ll take me a second because I just dropped it so hard

Sydney Editorial: The Five Stages of Having a Crush

Since you first have a sexual awakening caused by an awkwardly attractive cartoon character (bonus points if it was a cartoon animal, Mufasa ftw) you’ve likely been experiencing crushes. Crushes, though they seem like a nice little way to occupy your time, are the actual worst. I mean they are called crushes for fucks sake, which totally insinuates that you will be crushed. Not a pleasant experience, if you ask me. Unsurprisingly, I have found that the stages of crushing on someone are paralleled with the stages of grief. 

Sam Editorial: Rant on Evil Itself

Hey guys and gals, I’m here to spread the word of truth to those of you who can avoid the painful mistakes that I’ve made. Way back in 2014 when I was young and naive, my housemates and I made that decision. God, it’s so easy to see in retrospect, how could we have been so blind. Sorry I’m getting choked up. What happened was in early August of 2014 we signed an agreement with Bell to provide us internet. 

Sam Editorial: How To Handle HIGH Explosives Whilst Drunk Off Your Ass

Dear Reader, I can’t speak for how we got here. Whether it was a series of inenviable circumstances beyond your control or a series of mindbogglingly imbecilic decisions is your story to tell. All I know is that your situation currently is thus: you’re holding a detonator, booster, emulsion and cords and you’re so lit that you can barely see straight. 

Syd Editorial: PSA - It Isn't Christmas Yet

It’s September 14th, as you walk the halls of walmart you are affronted with smiling foam pumpkins and shitty felt bats. The hall is never ending, everywhere you turn there is poorly crafted Halloween decorations. And then, blessedly, it is over. The hall ends as October 31st rings midnight and we’ve fallen into November. Now, all that exists is Christmas crap. Everywhere you look you are confronted with creepy Santa’s and tinsel. If anyone asks me about mistletoe - well, actually, it would be nice, but IN DECEMBER.

Sam Editorial: A Weigh In on the Biggest Issue We Face Today

As an editor at Canada’s most prestigious other national newspapers, I feel obligated to weigh in on the important issues of the day. And dear readers, we know of the big issue out there, I don’t even think it needs to be said . We have on our hands big problems that demand immediate action. And I must say it is very frustrating to me to watch men and women in positions of power and influence continue to dither and lay down meaningless rhetoric when the hour is so dire.

Syd Editorial: Procrastinating

Procrastination is an art form mastered only by those who wish, subconsciously and paradoxically, to never master anything. At this point in life, I am strategically avoiding my tedious essay writing to instead write this editorial, which does not need to be finished for another week -- as opposed to my paper, which is due in approximately 22 hours. 100 words down, only 1100 more to go, and that’s if I wish to pass with a mediocre grade. But let’s be honest, I’m in 4th year, at this point mediocrity is all I am aiming for.

Things I Don't Like

There are a lot of things that I don’t like, much like everyone else. One thing I do like though, is Limericks, so decided to put the things I don’t like in Limerick form. To be honest, I was running out of ides for this week, so this is what you get. I can’t please everyone all the time, okay, I just can’t. So here you go, enjoy, or not, whatever. 

Leaving the house: 

Sam Editorial: Sci Formal Sucks

Every year, graduating engineers spend one night making a spectacular black tie event at Grant Hall. They construct an incredible structure from plywood, two by fours and nails, they paint fantastic murals and decorate two whole buildings in one cool theme. But you know what, it’s stupid. It’s stupid how everyone gets all dressed up and pretty and happy and goes and has a good time with all of their friends. Does that sound fun to anyone else? Who’d want to get all dressed up and have a great night eating fondue and drinking with a live band?