News

Women: What are they hiding in their Vaginas? Is it Guns? It Must Be Guns. a Special Report

Women. Wimmin. Womyn. Without Men. The original temptress. Adam’s ol’ ball and chain. The unt-pire to men’s baseball game of life. But behind this labyrinthine enigma of mystery lies another puzzle. Their vaginas. More like vagin-UGH, amirite fellas?
Besides being a portal from God’s conception to our blessed world, what do they do for the rest of the day? Are they pagan blood-shed vestibules or do they harbour man’s greatest invention and gift to the world: GUNS?! 

Government Handouts Making Queen’s Students Lazy

You know what is wrong with this generation of students? They think that simply because they are going to school that the government should just give them money for nothing. What kind of society do we live in, where a student who doesn’t have as much money can go and get an education on the dime of the taxpayer who is being squeezed to death by the illegal taxes imposed by the overzealous socialist government? One that needs to clearly get its priorities in check. Our military spending is low and we spend money of helping these poor students who don’t want to work?

Why Harry Potter is Bad For Young Children

Alright kids, listen the fuck up. If you were thrown Harry Potter books when you were a kid, this article is for you. If you enjoyed the movies, this is for you. If you are thinking of having kids in the future, throw together a cup of coffee and listen up. 

Science is Witchcraft

Science, what is it good for? Nothing because it is nothing but witchcraft that is being sold to us by demon possessed purveyors. It is time you wake up sheeple and see the truth behind the science. Here are the things that can not be understood and are clearly witchcraft.

Where We Stand on the Sensitive, Intricate Topic of Middle Eastern Relations

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Welfare: A Useless Embarrassment

The only thing that is more embarrassing than being poor and/or disabled is being helped by the government through welfare or other forms of government intervention. Here, at the new and improved Golden Words, we realize that government sanctioned financial aid is on par with subscribing to other religions other than Christianity. There is nothing more dehumanizing than giving poor people the scraps of the strong, hard-working Canadians who are productive to society. 

AMS ELECTIONS- Talkin’ with CSG and LWT

It’s that time of year, the winter is cold, one asshole of a prof mentioned midterms, and elections are here! Sam and Ghazal took some time out of our saturday to sit down seperately with the both AMS teams : Team CSG (Colin, Sarah and Greg) and Team LWT (Tyler, Dave and Carolyn) and they were fantastic. Remember to vote today
If you want to take a look at their platform check out http://www.votelwt.com/ and http://www.votecsg.com/. But if you want to hear some jokes please continue below:

News of the World

Leonardo DiCaprio to receive Jenga Achievement Award at the 2016 Academy Awards

I’m not Sexist- I don’t See Sex

These days people are constantly talking about sexism and how it is affecting women and men everywhere. This is obviously a prevalent issue in our society that trickles down through all layers of society. Now, a century since women’s suffrage movement swept accross the Western world, women continue to face systematic disadvantages. However, I have been able to avoid this issue my entire life, simply because I do not see sex. Instead:                                    

God to Write ISIS Out of the Script in 2016th Season of Earth

Most viewers believed that ISIS was would be nothing more than a minor figure in the soap opera known as ‘Earth’ when introduced in 2013. Since then, God has developed the character from being a irritating extra to a major villain wreaking havoc and chaos throughout the Middle East and Europe.
YHWH commented, ‘well I’ve exhausted pretty much every plot point I could with this character. Beheadings, cultural genocide, terrorism, refugee crisis, a bizarre feud with El-Chapo, where else can I possibly take this story?’

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