Hi team. We’re getting closer to the final stretch. School is almost over, midterm season is starting to dwindle, and you’re already tired after your restful Reading Week. That being said, you continue to read Golden Words as it’s really the only thing you look forward to. I can’t blame you though. It’s like when growing up how you were always looking forward to your dad to come home from getting cigarettes. Except in this scenario he actually comes home and he’s bringing a weekly copy of Golden Words with him.

In any case, as all good God-fearing people, I hate many things. As an editor of a widespread and highly influential paper of REAL NEWS, I have decided to continue to use my platform as a sort of mouthpiece with which to spread my personal opinions that are far removed from any sort of ‘ethics’ or ‘moral compass’. Even though my tenure as Editor is almost over, I will still withhold from writing my Kingston Methadone Clinic Tier List. ANYWAY HERE ARE THINGS THAT ANNOY ME:

People Who Wear Hats Inside

The purpose of the hat is for granting you shade in the case of the baseball cap, bucket hat, and the cowboy hat, to name a few. In other cases, hats provide warmth in cold weather conditions. But tell me, why are you wearing a hat in buildings with HVAC and ceilings?

When People Think They Know The Soviet National Anthem By Heart But Then Don’t Really

Nothing is more awkward than being at a party when Славься, Отечество наше свободное! goes on the speakers and all your friends also start going crazy. That’s when someone says “OMG I LOoOoooOOVE this song! I know all the lyrics”. So you start belting out the lyrics and going crazy but then they realize that they don’t even know past the first course. How embarrassing and annoying.

Family Friends Who Insist on Kissing on the Lips

It’s annoying enough to have to call someone who’s not even my blood uncle “Uncle Salvador”, but nothing’s worse than when he greets us with a firm peck of the lips and a greeting. Don’t get me wrong, Salvy is a lovely time and a great conversationalist, but I just don’t really like how close he gets to me with his overbearing cologne. It’s even weirder when he lip-kisses me in our post-dinner showers.

When People Misspell Froot Loops

Hey there university student who is expected to have a basic understanding in writing in English. What are you having this morning for your breakfast cereal? What’s what you wrote? “Fruit Loops”? I don’t quite understand what those are because there are not fruits in Froot Loops. Would you perhaps like some Fruit Luips? Lucky Arms? Honey Bunches of Boats? Mini Teats? That’s right, I thought not. Maybe next time you can consider taking a couple lessons in Cereal 101 before you decide to butcher the English language.

Author: