1.     If there are weight classes in wrestling, why aren’t there height classes in basketball?

2.    Why haven’t zombies happened yet? Just think, that could be the best source of virtually free labour. Chain them up and replace the urge for brains with a menial task on an assembly line.

3.    Why is a haiku

Five-seven-five syllables

It’s pretty random

Why would we even

Consider this an artform

It is just bullshit

4.     We have the technology for heated car seats and yet they are only ever in the front seats. Maybe the backseat is intended for children or pets, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a warm seat. Well, children are evil and don’t deserve it. My dog, on the other hand, loves heating pads and hot water bottles, but he is kept in the cold on those car rides. Where is the interspecies equality?!

5.    How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?