There’s a fundamental shift occurring in our student drinking culture right now, with many championing the idea that one must either “blackout or back out”. What does this mean for you, and your ethically questionable drinking habits? Should you blackout? Should you back out? Here’s what it’s really like to get blackout drunk, we’ll let you decide.

It starts with an occasion. But never a good occasion. It’s like, Victoria day, and something in you today just said “everything in moderation, including moderation”. You’re drunk already. Dude, it’s 9am. Whatever, everyone’s doing it. Your focus becomes narrow. Nothing else matters. Drink. The world may be your oyster but you need to figure out how to get out of that oyster in order to put more liquor into your body.

You have a few more drinks, you flirt with a girl, a girl you really like. Wow she’s cute, and really cool. The kind of girl you could really see yourself… you stumble and your hands bump into her boobs. It’s over. You drunk clown.

After a couple more drinks you reach existential crisis levels of intoxication. You pick this moment, while you are drunk in the street dressed as the Lucky Charms leprechaun with 40’s of Old English taped to both hands, to question life’s meaning. Good call, really good call. Watch out for the car that’s about to hit you by the way. So, tell me how it is. No, how it really is. So, you can’t truly prove anything in the world is real? Really? Why don’t you just focus on keeping down that last Mike’s Hard Lemonade there Socrates.

And then, it happens. Your brain just switches off. You black out.

At this point I can’t tell you what you do. Looking back on the night tomorrow you will have no way of knowing what you did after you blacked out. Maybe you went to Aberdeen with crowds of people to carry on the proud Queen’s tradition of standing on Aberdeen. Maybe you got high with some stonairs before Donair’s Ponair. Maybe you finally kissed that TA that you think has been hitting on you by giving you so many 69’s. Maybe you even killed a guy. There’s really no way of knowing. But, realistically, you just puked or ate or cried or something.

And then, like that, it’s the next morning, your head feels like it might pop, and you can’t remember anything you did. All you know is that you hate light. You check your email, there is a strongly worded message from your TA. Fuck.

That’s what it’s like to get blackout drunk. Will you back out?

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