Sometimes it’s hard to think of something to say to your long term partner or short term lover, but you can’t just roll over and pass out when your (in)significant other is lying expectantly in bed, hoping to talk about death or some shit. 
This list was a selection of the best pillowtalk conversations submitted by our readers, or quite frankly if you haven’t fucking figured it out yet, made up by a less hungover than usual idiot who hasn’t realized he could just pay $5 for pizza instead of facepalming with a laptop. The merits on which they were chosen were arbitrary, much like your existence, but that doesn’t mean they are not valuable (the merits, not your existence). 

  1. A frank discussion about the sociopolitical origin of ISIL with that one night stand from Politics: he had strong feelings about it, and hard feelings about other things - Jenny and Andrew (aka one night stand from Politics)
  2. Boner Management Strategies: the difficulties of wearing boxers and sweats - Todd et al.
  3. The fact that Stephen C.R. Smith donated 50 million dollars to Commerce, despite having been an engineer - Ben Card and his left hand
  4. Tim Hortons Nutella Donut, and whether it’s been going truly downhill ever since the American company buyout - Your Dad and his new girlfriend
  5. Breakfast, and what sort of eggs I wanted in the morning, we both fucking eat at Leonard, you pretentious child - Some first year and some other first year
  6. “Hey are you awake?” “If I say no will you go the fuck away?” - Amy and Todd (respectively)
  7. This is a really great decision - Olde English 800
  8. Whether calling someone a c*nt really is just the female equivalent of calling someone a dick, and whether post-colonial developed countries are overly sensitive to the word c*nt - Ed and Tammy and Rachel (who had exchange in the UK and thinks she knows everything about the English now)
  9. Whether living in a bigger city results in having safe drug access or not, as quantified by the purity, price, and ease of access - Shawna and that chick who isn’t really good enough at cunnilingus to be worth the drive over anymore
  10. The sexual leanings of people who use the word partner (only out of curiousity) - Like every student ever. 

We at Golden Words are not responsible for how horrible the minds are of any of our readers.