Legendary Pictures Announces: "The Dark Knight Circumsises", Starring Jewish Bale

After five years of anxiously awaiting, fans of DC Comics have been raving over the recent announcement of a new entry in the Dark Knight franchise. However, not all are enjoying the polarizing news that the movie will star acclaimed actor, Jewish Bale, as Batman. The movie, slated to arrive in May 2017, will be titled “The Dark Knight Circumcises”, and will focus on Batman’s rebirth as a spunky Jewish teen growing up in mid-1960s Brooklyn.

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Honest Resume

Honest Resume

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Vapor-Slave

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Golden Words Guide to Organization For People Who Start Caring About School After Week 3

It’s week 4. If this statement really hits home, this piece may be for you. Everyone around you has been finding things to do to keep themselves busy but you’ve just spent 3 weeks rewatching the entire Danny DeVito filmography since The Big Kahuna. Can you justify it? No. Would you do it again? Without a doubt. But now that you’ve dug this hole, I’m here to get you out. Organization is like a period, better late than never. With that in mind, let’s get organized.

Convince yourself nothing meaningful is taught in the first 3 weeks

Point-Counterpoint: Mac DeMarco or Mozart?

Music. It comes in all shapes and sizes like triangles, big, squares and small. But not everyone likes the same music - in fact, scientists have determined that all listeners of music fall into two distinct categories: Mozart, the hit pop artist of the 1970s, or Mac DeMarco, the 2018 EDM trombonist. In this critical ‘thinkpiece’, our two esteemed musical writers, Solo and Jeremy, debate the fundamental truths that permeate our society: who is better, Mac DeMarco or Mozart?

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