Future SLC '20 Student Doesn't Find First Year Eng That Hard

Current Sci ‘18 Curtis Fleet, a future Arts ‘19 and eventual SLC ‘20 student, does not find his first year courses that hard. In a recent statement made in his rez room, Mr. Fleet, whilst beating his roommate at FIFA 2014, said “I went to lectures first week and it was like all review, I totally knew that shit, so I was like to my bro Vance, yo I’m just gonna show up to quizzes and midterms, university is so easy.” He would allegedly then go on to “totally destroy Vance at “Chel” [NHL ‘14], COD, and even a throwback game of Mario Party 4”

News of the World - Week of Sept. 24


Queen’s begins invalidating student IDs of students who have left to join extremist groups
Perhaps due to a lack of student clubs that spark their interest, many Queen’s students have deserted their studies in recent months to join radical extremist and terrorist groups such as the Islamic State in Iraq and Al-Sham; and the Frosh Regulation Enforcement Committee. This has has led the university to release a statement saying that these student’s ID cards will no longer be valid.

Golden Reviews: Movies

Rating - ⅘ stars
Audience rating: Holy shit, moving images!

Doritos Roulette: An Open Letter to Doritos

This bag of chips is a stupid fucking idea because it strongly discriminates against people who are both high and not with friends. Do you know how frustrating it is to want a nice pleasing dorito and instead receive a mouth full of figurative lava? Now imagine that you’re more baked than the cumulative bakedness of a bread factory and then experience the burning pain of an extra spicy dorito. Doritos seemed to jump on that stupid fucking marketing trend of pretending that everyone has friends all the time.

Backpack Wars

Life Disconnected

Due to a clerical error, my house’s internet was disconnected last year. We were all too lazy to call Cogeco to reopen our account. This is my journal of life without internet.
Month 1. This isn’t so bad. It’s really hard to procrasterbate without the internet. This could actually be a good thing.
Month 2. I miss buzzfeed. I am sad.
Month 3. My nights are so empty without Netflix…
Month 4. Still haven’t paid student fees because I can’t access Solus. Shit.

Possible Meeting for Agnostic Club Tomorrow

    The Agnostic Club at Queen’s announced yesterday that they may or may not be hosting a meeting tomorrow night to discuss their possible belief in a religious deity. Club President Christine Simmonds announced that the meeting, if it happens, will be held in Dunning Room 12. “We’re not positive that the meeting is a sure thing yet. I mean, it’s certainly highly possible that there could be a meeting. But really, who can know for sure?” Simmonds was quoted as saying.

25 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Kimberly Woodhouse

25 things You Probably Didn’t know about Kimberly Woodhouse: The Results of her Seemingly Mundane Background Check May Shock You

The Underground to Cut Unessential, Non-Line Up Services

It’s time for another change at the Underground, say AMS executives. In response to sinking sales since last year’s rebranding, costs must be cut. But AMS Vice-President of Operations Justin Reekie has a plan to streamline operations while still providing students the same basic service.

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