Editorial: Midterms Are Fun

It seems like the maple leaves that grow on the sides of buildings have skipped a couple shades of yellow and orange and turned into a bright crimson. Actually I’m not sure if maple leaves count as maple if they grow on vines instead of a tree, but they’re Canadian, so I assume they must be.

News of the Queen's University


Because Queen’s University is the only university, it is also the only place in the world.

Queen’s University Wins Most CIS Tournaments

I Have No Title

I've always wanted to write for a newspaper that unashamedly prints the word "fuck" with glorious frequency in every issue.
Okay, that's not exactly true. But from the time I picked up my very first issue of Golden Words a few weeks ago, I knew it was the kind of thing I would have always wanted, had I known that I wanted it. If this doesn't make any sense, fuck you, it's 3 am and I'm running on copious amounts of NyQuil.

Fluid Finally Fills Up

For the first time, this Friday, Fluid Nightclub reached capacity. Managers, servers, and DJ’s were appalled that people were actually coming to their club which has been consistently empty ever since its grand opening last year. The nightclub’s owner, Riley Lee, believes this newfound success was due to the venue’s combination of no cover, cheap drinks, popular music, and an exciting atmosphere. However many of the students and alumni visiting the club thought differently:

Hoco Tickets Line Diary

This past Wednesday I was one of the several thousand Queen’s students who lined up in the wee hours of the morning to secure a homecoming ticket. Never minding the fact that I would later give my ticket away because no one I knew got one, here is a breakdown of events in the lineup:
4:30 - Alarm goes off. Groan
4:45 - Housemate tells me to get the fuck up.

Signs You’re a True Torontonian

Hey oh! What’s good, my homies from The Dot? Or, as Drake is calling it now, The 6. If you like Drake, this is such a dope name! Glad someone’s finally reppin Toronto on the world stage. If you don’t like Drake, then who does this Forest Hill-raised motherfucker think he is?

Dancing for DUMMIES

This is for all of you out there that didn’t get laid on your number one weekend to get some. Any failure on your part is completely proportional to your lack of dance skills.
Fast Facts: It is scientifically proven that the opposite (or same) sex is 95.6% more likely to bed you if you can swivel those hips with coordination. Dance training is the best way to increase sexual endurance.

Some People Just Don’t Like Homecoming

A time of camaraderie and celebration of the wonderful institution that is Queen’s University. Alumni return to their primary place of learning, sports, and getting shit-face plastered. Let’s be honest, a lot of alumni and students alike don’t remember much of homecoming, much like they likely don’t remember much of their undergrad. It takes a certain person to love the sticky mess of thousands of drunks and another to, well, not. I just happen to fall under the category of the latter.

What the Fuck Happened at Homecoming?!

So this past weekend was homecoming, or at least… I think it was. I have spent the last 4 days attempting to retrace every step and interview every person that I talked to. This is the story as it has been told to me.

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