Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? Maybe Stop Looking In Crack Dens

Hey guys. Alex back at it again with the white Vans. Another weekend cut short by the Sunday-soul-sucking endeavour known as Press Nite. I’m not resentful that I’m consistently outclassed by people that are far more talented than me - who said that? In any case, yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and I know a lot of our readers are left with the sting of being single. Even though you are all extremely good looking, and have all the qualities of a suitable mate, there are lots of reasons why you are S.I.N.G.L.E. For some it could be their attitude or maybe personality.

Fall In Love With Yourself by Being Two People From Your Multiple Personality Disorder

Ok, yeah, this is exactly like the movie Split ™ by M. Night Shyamalan. Isn’t MPD just twins in one place? Aren’t twins just the best two for one deal of all time?

Top 7 Alt-Right Hotties with Bodies

Hey cutie, Valentine’s Day got you down? Feel like there’s an impenetrable wall around your heart? Being alone feels badmon. If you don’t have a bae this Valentine’s day, or they’re just straight up not allowed to enter the country anymore, we’ve got you your back. No cuckservatives, no whiny libtards, and definitely no betas here - only the realest, purest, waspiest wasps we could find at the bottom of the swamp. Here are 7 alt right machismo men that will deport your wintertime blues back Islamastan.

Steve Bannon

Reading Week Packing List

With reading week right around the corner, it’s time to start packing for your vacation down south! We at golden words took the liberty of making this list of some cool and fun essential items to bring. Don’t worry about packing your standards or your dignity, those will also be on vacation.

Sunscreen: Since you live in Kingston, there’s no doubt in our mind that your skin is paler than Michael Jackson in 2011. Slap on some sunscreen so you don’t end up coming back as red as Mr. Krabs and crusty like my favorite rock sock (Krusty Krab :P).

Honest Resume

Honest Resume

lordfarqueens

Vapor-Slave

Two Puppies

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