Encounter With Trees Pt.3

In bed on monday night I was watching a particular show on netflix. I forget what show I was actually watching, but looking back now it doesn’t really matter because the events that unfolded far outweigh my insignificant netflix experience. I heard a knock on my bedroom door. That’s right. Not my front door, but my bedroom door. I was the only one home so I was a quite confused and asked who was at the door. To my surprise the door flung open and it was the two potted plants that had sat in the living room of my house.

The Entire Bee Movie But The Movie Is Replaced By A Golden Words Article But the Article Is Replaced With The Lyrics Of Smash Mouth’s Hit Single All Star

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an “L” on her forehead

Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn’t make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do, so much to see
So what’s wrong with taking the back streets?
You’ll never know if you don’t go
You’ll never shine if you don’t glow

Check Out These Four Power Couples

1) Mackenzie and Dan

I Cannot Lie, I Like Big Butts

So there I am, sitting in Starbucks, pondering the big questions in life, waiting for my girlfriend to arrive and that’s when I came to an abrupt conclusion. My girlfriend doesn’t really fit the bill when it comes to me. Not in an ‘out of my league’ kind of way but more in a “she looks like a gentleman that raps’ girlfriend”. I am anything but a rapsmith, sure I’m 250 Lbs with abs of steel and the gaze of an Andalusian stallion, but I mean, her butt. It’s just so big, so round! So when she gave me a chance I had to jump on it.

Queen's Hospitality Services to Add Edible Food Option to Menu

The Queen’s Hospitality Services has received complaints over the last 2 years of a decreased quality in food. As well as a lack of food options. The head of hospitality services, Mr. Peter Ian Staker, or Mr. P.I. Staker said in an exclusive interview, “the food has definitely been lacking over the last few years in nutritional content and flavour. Our new edible food option will include herbs and spices to give the bland food any taste regardless if it is good or not.

Top Five Weird Al Songs to Listen to After you Find Out Your Wife Has Been Cheating On You

1. Alimony

2. Angry White Boy Polka

3. A Complicated Song

4. I Can’t Watch This

5. I’m So Sick of You

Sam-I-Am-Not (Sure Why She Would Do This)

Grad student hunger games

The School of Graduate Studies has made an announcement of a new and unique way of dealing with the problem of many graduate students constantly vying for the attention of their supervisor. All new graduate students looking to receive attention from their supervisor will be entered into the Supervisor Games where they will fight to the death on Queen’s campus in order to win a single 1 hour sit down slot with their supervisor to discuss what the hell is going on with their thesis. “ For far too long professors have had to be hassled by Masters and PhD students.

The Dangers of Native Advertising

Native advertising: a term you probably heard three years ago and thought, “huh, that sounds boring.” Well let me be the first to tell you that yes, it is pretty boring but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be afraid - more afraid than that time when you were eight and your sibling turned off the lights while you were showering and started punching the curtains like a dickhead.

My Thoughts on Exams, Stress, Healthy Living, and the Athenian Invasion of Syracuse in 415 B.C.E.

It’s me again, that guy who seemingly at random appeared on our newspaper last week to write about International Men’s Day. Now that the old Golden Words administration has successfully been overthrown, Brendan and I can finally set things straight and talk about “the real issues.” Viva La Revolución - your new editors are here to help you find the secret meaning of life and guide you in these turbulent times!

The Totally True Story of what I did with my Monday

For those of you who didn’t know, Monday March 20th was free cone day at Dairy Queen. To celebrate the anniversary of the ice cream chain’s founding they would be giving away one small vanilla ice cream cone to all customers. Like any rational human being I was over the moon with excitement at the prospect of getting Dairy Queen ice cream for free. There was however, a catch. I called the nearest Dairy Queen to confirm that the free cones were in fact available at our local franchise. What they told me was catastrophic. Free cone day was only happening in America.

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