Queen’s Concrete Toboggan Team Won Somehow

Every year the around 30 of the silliest fucking Queen’s students gather in Ellis Hall and mix around concrete and talk about being beauties or something. It’s a civil-mech eng group mostly but it’s open to everyone. The team is to compete every year in the Great Northern

Concrete Toboggan Race. Basically you gotta make a toboggan that only touches the snow with concrete, and then race a bunch of other teams from across the country down a big ol hill.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places? Maybe Stop Looking In Crack Dens

Hey guys. Alex back at it again with the white Vans. Another weekend cut short by the Sunday-soul-sucking endeavour known as Press Nite. I’m not resentful that I’m consistently outclassed by people that are far more talented than me - who said that? In any case, yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and I know a lot of our readers are left with the sting of being single. Even though you are all extremely good looking, and have all the qualities of a suitable mate, there are lots of reasons why you are S.I.N.G.L.E. For some it could be their attitude or maybe personality.

Fall In Love With Yourself by Being Two People From Your Multiple Personality Disorder

Ok, yeah, this is exactly like the movie Split ™ by M. Night Shyamalan. Isn’t MPD just twins in one place? Aren’t twins just the best two for one deal of all time?

Top 7 Alt-Right Hotties with Bodies

Hey cutie, Valentine’s Day got you down? Feel like there’s an impenetrable wall around your heart? Being alone feels badmon. If you don’t have a bae this Valentine’s day, or they’re just straight up not allowed to enter the country anymore, we’ve got you your back. No cuckservatives, no whiny libtards, and definitely no betas here - only the realest, purest, waspiest wasps we could find at the bottom of the swamp. Here are 7 alt right machismo men that will deport your wintertime blues back Islamastan.

Steve Bannon

Reading Week Packing List

With reading week right around the corner, it’s time to start packing for your vacation down south! We at golden words took the liberty of making this list of some cool and fun essential items to bring. Don’t worry about packing your standards or your dignity, those will also be on vacation.

Sunscreen: Since you live in Kingston, there’s no doubt in our mind that your skin is paler than Michael Jackson in 2011. Slap on some sunscreen so you don’t end up coming back as red as Mr. Krabs and crusty like my favorite rock sock (Krusty Krab :P).

Grad Photo Prop

Backcover 5118

How to Pretend You’re Becoming a Better Person Without Actually Changing Anything

As New Year’s Resolutions continue to be forgotten like those dumbbells you swore you would use everyday before bed, a new, beautiful opportunity approaches us. No, it’s not ‘Roll up the Rim’, it’s Lent. For all you Christians out there, or anyone else, hello shalom, we don’t discriminate. The beautiful season of Lent is coming, March 1st to be specific. Here comes a time when people excitedly declare they will be giving up chocolate for forty days. Then, about 8 hours in they realize forty days is a really fucking long time.

A Guide to Not Getting Involved In Facebook Arguments

Writing comments on Facebook about why Syrian refugees are, in fact, people and not poisoned skittles or peanuts may seem like a heroic way to spend your time. You may be the kind of person who thinks this will make you feel better, or in some way improve your life. This would be wrong. The key to living a healthy lifestyle is avoiding these internet debates at all costs, for the sake of your own mental well-being and the protection of your soul. Below are some useful tips for helping you avoid Facebook arguments.

3-Year-Old Gets Mistaken as KCVI Student Gets Mistaken as Queen's Student at Convocation

As the sweet sounds of bagpipes ruffled through Grant Hall during Fall Convocation and the graduates started lining up, all seemed to be going well. But little did anyone know, Jehovah Wilkins, a 3-year-old student at the Bright Sunshine Daycare accidentally stumbled into the ceremony and got confused as a KCVI student and hence a fourth year Queen’s student. No one involved in the convocation noticed the lone straggler and everything proceeded normally.

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