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Reading Week Packing List

With reading week right around the corner, it’s time to start packing for your vacation down south! We at golden words took the liberty of making this list of some cool and fun essential items to bring. Don’t worry about packing your standards or your dignity, those will also be on vacation.

Sunscreen: Since you live in Kingston, there’s no doubt in our mind that your skin is paler than Michael Jackson in 2011. Slap on some sunscreen so you don’t end up coming back as red as Mr. Krabs and crusty like my favorite rock sock (Krusty Krab :P).

Golden Words Guide to Organization For People Who Start Caring About School After Week 3

It’s week 4. If this statement really hits home, this piece may be for you. Everyone around you has been finding things to do to keep themselves busy but you’ve just spent 3 weeks rewatching the entire Danny DeVito filmography since The Big Kahuna. Can you justify it? No. Would you do it again? Without a doubt. But now that you’ve dug this hole, I’m here to get you out. Organization is like a period, better late than never. With that in mind, let’s get organized.

Convince yourself nothing meaningful is taught in the first 3 weeks

Point-Counterpoint: Mac DeMarco or Mozart?

Music. It comes in all shapes and sizes like triangles, big, squares and small. But not everyone likes the same music - in fact, scientists have determined that all listeners of music fall into two distinct categories: Mozart, the hit pop artist of the 1970s, or Mac DeMarco, the 2018 EDM trombonist. In this critical ‘thinkpiece’, our two esteemed musical writers, Solo and Jeremy, debate the fundamental truths that permeate our society: who is better, Mac DeMarco or Mozart?

Letters to GW: Tell Us How Golden Words Ruined Your Life

“It was the wild pre-AIDS days of the late 1970s. I was a hot, young environmental sciences prof with a grade-A pornstache and an increasingly sexless marriage. So when this cute young secretary started coming on to me, what the fuck was I supposed to do? It was a groovy time when it started, but around the sixth month I started getting these nagging thoughts about my wife waiting for me at home, preparing meatloaf for us or putting our young son to bed. It came to the point where I couldn’t take it, I didn’t know what to do.

Anime Is Not A Crime

The word Weeb has been getting thrown around quite a bit lately. Frankly I do not know what that means, or how it relates to anime, but I watched Spirited Away once and thought it was pretty good. After that experience, I can pretty much speak for all of anime and declare that it is not a crime to enjoy a good anime (editor’s note* probably a crime to watch bad anime).

Why Mathematicians are the Worst: A Rant

Don’t get me wrong, I love math more than I love black tar heroin, but there’s just some rage within me that has me fucking hate the people who invented it. Read on for a juicy rant.

What Are You Doing After You Graduate? A Lecture from My Dad So You Don’t Need To Call Home This Week

All right honey, it’s the middle of the week- the perfect time to discuss what your plans are when you graduate. Your mother and I are just concerned about the direction you’re headed in- not that we don’t trust you to make this decision- just that this is a realllllllly big adult choice and we just want what’s best for you. So what are your plans?

A Man’s Guide to Dealing with Diurnal Emissions

We’ve all been ‘there’–It’s 12:15 pm on a Wednesday and you’re rushing to class like you’re about to ejaculate in your pants, except this time you actually are. According to Consumer Health Digest, approximately 83% of all men will experience a nocturnal emission in their lives. But what people don’t know is that men also suffer diurnal emissions–wet daydreams. While there are no hard statistics, there is a soft estimate that 16% of men suffer from it.

How To Win An AMS Exec Election

January at Queen’s marks the month of people getting the hub flu, girls intentionally getting frostbite on their legs on the way to the bars, and the entire campus passionately engaged in AMS elections. With the entire campus obviously on their toes, keeping up with all the AMS election updates as if the future of their country depends on it, here are some key steps to a great campaign that potential candidates should follow.</p>

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