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What the F*** Am I Doing With My Life? A Helpful Guide to Choosing Your Discipline

It is that time of years again boyz! Time to pick what discipline will eventually ruin your life, relationship, and probably maybe most likely get a job for you in the future. Choosing your discipline can be stressful, but fear not you sweet angel, I have written a helpful guide based on my own opinions to help guide you in your time of need.

SOME MODERN DATING TIPS FROM HISTORY’S ORIGINAL LOVER

The winter is upon us, and with it, the annual rush for a bae to call your own before Valentine’s Day. Known as all sorts of things across the globe: cuffing season, dating, courting, arranged marriage, Russian mail-order brides. You name it. As Wise and Cultured™ Queen’s students, we all know that history offers an extensive amount of learning material. Obviously most of history has things that you really reeeeeeally shouldn’t do, but there’s also some good bits of advice for us “alivies”.

The Four Worst Seasons of Stranger Things

Season 7
This season was especially baffling. While the writers made a bold choice moving away from the central characters of Mike, Eleven, and others, the decision to make the entire season (consisting of eight hour-long episodes), consist of nothing but a 5 minute loop of 9/11 footage was, though original, both confusing and repetitive.

Tips for House Hunting Frosh

It’s that time of year again. The least magical time of year. The time of year that will see you face more rejection than you faced at your first high school dance. The time of year that will see you stay awake ‘till the wee hours of the morning with crippling panic attacks and turn you against your fellow students–It’s house hunting season. You’ve probably already found out that house hunting sucks. It sucks so so so much. You’ve been told that “you were great, but there was one other group that was better” and that “we’ll call you if the signing falls through”.

The Case for Bird Courses

Don't you know 'bout the bird
Well ev'rybody knows that the bird is a word.
- Surfin' Bird

The AMS recently published a survey about what Queen’s students think of bird courses. This itself is worth celebrating, because it’s probably the first time the AMS did anything useful if you don’t count their decision to re-open the Queen’s Pub (which you shouldn’t since it was their fault it closed in the first place).

Proof That Jack Could Have Survived The Titanic

“You must do me this honour. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.” A great line in a movie that made us all cry, and if you didn’t cry then you’re dead inside. Speaking of death, you know who died for some bullshit reason? Jack in Titanic.

Reading the Signs: Dream Catz

Interpreting dreams is a practice as old as people have been having them. While it can be difficult to understand what it means when you dream about your best friend’s mom twerking on your face, fortune tellers and mediums find ways to help you make sense of your weird hormone-driven fantasies and get through puberty without feeling too ashamed afterwards. Totally not speaking from experience. Another societal phenomenon that is almost as relevant to the development of modern human psychology has been the domestication of cats because they’re cute and furry and lit af.

21 Average

Recently, rapper 21 Savage has reached popularity for his mediocre rap style, ability to not give a single care about anything, and his current world record attempt for longest time spent with eyes not fully open, closing in on Ben Carson’s current title. Due to this fame and the nature of society nowadays, people have now started impersonating him. There is already a rapper going by the name of 22 Savage.

Top 5 Weird-Al Songs To Have Sex To

1. Eat It

2. Trapped in the Drive Through

3. Albuquerque

4. Handy

5. Virus Alert

A Critical Review of a 2:00 AM Booty Call

Saving Private Ryan. Toy Story 3. Pooty Tang. Over the past 3 months I’ve reviewed critically acclaimed films that have impacted entire generations–movies that have defined the morals of our society as a whole. After a few weed-filled nights of looking past the lights and cameras, diving deep into the inner psyche of cinema, I’ve decided to extend my expertise from the silver screen to the smartphone screen. Today, I review a late night booty call:

Act 1: The “Tinder Surprise”

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