Direct to DVD Sequels of Popular Movies

Schindler’s Hit List:
When we last saw Oskar Schindler, he had just rescued hundreds of Jews from certain death during the Holocaust by making them work for his factory making defective munitions for the Axis. Now, he’s returned from his trip from Japan where he learned the ancient arts of the League of Shadows and using his fortune he will become the World’s Greatest Detective in order to rid his city of Nazis.
A Farewell to Legs

Once a Fencer, Always a Fencing Alum

I got up especially early Saturday morning in adrenaline and ran to West campus. Not to the Richardson Stadium, but to the gym in Duncan McArthur. It was Alumni Fencing Event day! That means, any fencer in Queen’s history could be there. I was gonna see a lot of good skills, a lot of great bouts, a lot of pain but a lot of fun!

Favorite Memories of Homecoming

  1. A 5 ft nothing girl walking down Princess, texting furiously, turns into an ally, pukes on a homeless man, has no change and walks away pleading, “I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry, No Change”.
  1. Kim Woodhouse, Dean of engineering, wearing a tam all morning. Also, Daniel Woolf wearing his artsci jacket.
  1. Geo students being gone until 5:00, study finds that there was a 90% drop in the amount of plaid worn.
  1. Man actually bleeds tricolour - immediately sent to KGH.

How to Get Over Ex-Lovers

In my 20 years, I’ve had many romantic relationships.  While the majority of them have been imaginary, that doesn’t mean the end was any easier.  That guy that asked me where the washroom was, well we dated for 6 months before he turkey dumped me.  The guy that smiled at me in Stauffer, he called off our engagement 2 weeks before the wedding.  That guy from Walkhome, we really shared something real before he ended it after our 10 minute walk.

10 Things to do While Home for Thanksgiving

  1. Listen to your super conservative aunt go on for half an hour about how demonic sex before marriage is... While sexting your boy/girlfriend back in Kingston.
  2. Eat so much turkey that you throw up because the only thing you’ve eaten in the last 2 months is Ban Righ burgers, and real food tastes like the best sex you’ve ever had in your mouth. Then go back for seconds.
  3. Eat half of an apple and/or pumpkin pie by yourself; fuck freshman 15 - you’re an overachiever, and you demand at least 20.
  4. Break up with your high school boy/girl friend.

Your Weekly Horoscope: October 13 - October 20

Aries: March 21 - April 19
You are the ram, the horny beast we all know and love. This week Uranus was mooned and it has your emotions going in loop-de-loops. There are only two choices, stifle the inner beast or let your inner ram-page. We all know which one you’re going to pick… This is the week to drink fire and let your horny heart feast, war cries and all.
Brontosaurus: April 20 - May 20

Thanksgiving Blues

The turkey coma is passing by
The good food will no longer be
It is back to endless caf food
No matter how you plea
The perks of home have fled
No laundry will be done by mum
The mess is all yours
No magic fairies to come
You are trapped here now
With all the growing sadness
Here come the dreaded midterms
With their oncoming madness
No sleep to be found for the next weeks
Grades are not easy, they come at a price
In the sea of university, study,
It’s the only flotation device

GW Sex: How to Store Your Sex Toys When You Have Roommates

If you live in residence, in shared student housing, at home with your parents, or ever have friends come into your room for any sort of activities, great! You’re probably loved by others. Do you love yourself though? If you do, you’ll probably want some sex toys; they are great - except you’ll have to store them properly. Without proper storage, sex toys may be dirtied, damaged, or stolen by your jealous and/or uncomfortable-because-they-are-jealous roommate.  

The Past

This past weekend I went for a hike. Nothing special just a random adventure through the woods, in search of a waterfall, or elves. As I was strolling next to the babbling brook, I came across something peculiar: a fence. I had not expected to find a fence in the middle of a forest, but here it was and curiosity got the better of me, so I had no choice but to cross it. Immediately there was another fence, and another, and another. It felt like someone was trying to keep me out of something, but I just couldn’t resist and kept trespassing over this myriad of fences.

Things to do during Sci-Formal Hours

Unless you managed to get a hour reduction by having a part-time job or being friends with someone important, you’ve got to put in 40 hours toward construction for Sci-Formal. You could always apply for an hours reduction by making up a fake job, but it’s easier to just follow the advice below to make the most of your indentured servitude.