Authors - Hattie Xu

Sam is Dead/No I'm Not

SAM IS DEAD

I have been summoned back by the outcries from the Golden Words office. My dim spirit lifted my heavy foot steps; one step at a time I arrived at Golden Words. What awaited for me was a horror I have never dreamt of witnessing: Sam Codrington is dead!

No, not in the way that Overheard is dead. Sam is actually dead; as dead as the two squirrels on Albert street. Silent. Sideways. Half-black.

Editorial: Point/Counterpoint: This year’s GW was AWESOME / SHIT!

Dear readers, it is sad to say that this is the last time you will see my beautiful face on page 2 of Golden Words, which you obviously read, religiously, every week. Yes, there is still Golden Words next week, because we couldn’t possibly let such a grand tradition end in our hands, but we must pass it on to the next round of editors. It is positively heartbreaking to let it go; this year’s Golden Words was hands-down the best year of all time, it would be hard to even try to compete with the glory that we have succeeded.

Editorial: Racists Don’t Deserve To Get Laid

I am of the generation that had to teach myself about sex. Fortunately, such dark times is no more. I still remember walking home with my friends from middle school while discussing whether it’s a physical possibility for girls to masturbate. At that time, I was probably in the middle of the “identifying lab space” part of the masturbation experimental design process; I hadn’t quite gotten down the theory yet.

Editorial: Tasting the World

Quick, define “Canadian cuisine”! And no, poutine is one dish; not an entire cuisine. C’mon, you’re in Canada, you have to know what your cuisine is! Don’t try the whole “Canadian cuisine isn’t a thing, we don’t have a culture” bullshit. I know Canadian cuisine is real, because even the menu at Silver Wok has a “Canadian Foods” section.

Editorial: Football Too Masculine

I grew up in a country that proclaims to be communist. In such a utopia, men and women are treated equally. In reality, they are far from equal. For all my life, I’ve known that Chinese men suck at sports. Women’s volleyball and women’s football (that’s “soccer” for you North American people) are national favourites, while the men’s counterparts were not even talked about because people were ashamed.

As a five year old feminist, I wondered if and why men were so much shittier at sports than women.

Editorial: Skating Into The Rabbit Hole

Kingston is a boring city: our downtown is half of one street! If you walk too fast for about fifteen minutes, you might end up on a patch of ice in the Springer Market Square. I did this last week.

What was this place? There’s a big hairy mechanical buffalo slowly doing laps on the surface; it looks like it was putting icing on the ice (haha, icing, ice, get it? Shit, my humour standards just got to a new low). There were people at the side fiercely watching the big buffalo. These people looked like a violent cultish mob: they all had shiny knives! On the bottom of their feet!

Editorial: Be Nice to Your House Alumni, Frosh

Last week, I had to make my bed for the first time in three and a half years because my landlord wanted to take photos of my room to put on Kijiji for a room rental ad.

Editorial: The World Is Ableist!

Dear reader,

Please take a break from the serious issue of terrorism from above. Let’s talk about another, equally serious issue, of ableism in society.

Between January 2, when I jumped in a way I was taught not to during bouldering and dislocated my elbow, and January 7, when I woke up and had an uncontrollable urge to take a pair of scissors to my cast and break free - and then acting on said urge - I’ve had a brief period of disability.

Editorial: I got high for free!

I'm all for doing something new and exciting, especially two days before school starts again. So the day before I was scheduled to return to Kingston, I went bouldering for the first time. It was a lot of fun, especially the part where I fell from 3 meters high directly on my arm and immediately dislocated my elbow.

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