Issue 15

Sad Stuff

Cover 5115

The Case for Bird Courses

Don't you know 'bout the bird
Well ev'rybody knows that the bird is a word.
- Surfin' Bird

The AMS recently published a survey about what Queen’s students think of bird courses. This itself is worth celebrating, because it’s probably the first time the AMS did anything useful if you don’t count their decision to re-open the Queen’s Pub (which you shouldn’t since it was their fault it closed in the first place).

Crocs and Clorox: Exploring the Fashion World

There has been a new fashion trend exploding out of Toronto: a city known for it’s sub-par hockey team and copying everything that Drake does. But this latest fashion craze has come from civilians not the 6 God himself. Recently, Crocs have received a lot of flack for being “absolute garbage.” I will admit that I have shared that opinion, but with this revitalization, Crocs are coming back. The newest craze is Crocs and Clorox. And I know you might be thinking, “But TooMuchDog, that’s surely unhealthy! That’s not a fashion trend that people can sustain!

Report: Alistair Wants You To Wait Before You Sign The Lease

THE STUDENT GHETTO: To the surprise of nobody except you, Alistair Bateman, a 1st year prospective POLS major (and your future housemate), is not ready to sign the lease. After much deliberation, Alistair has decided it may be better to wait before any rash actions are taken. Unprompted, Alistair told interviewers “I’m just not sure that we should sign before doing our due diligence. Yes, all of us like the house, but what if we move in and realize we made a mistake?”

Proof That Jack Could Have Survived The Titanic

“You must do me this honour. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.” A great line in a movie that made us all cry, and if you didn’t cry then you’re dead inside. Speaking of death, you know who died for some bullshit reason? Jack in Titanic.

Reading the Signs: Dream Catz

Interpreting dreams is a practice as old as people have been having them. While it can be difficult to understand what it means when you dream about your best friend’s mom twerking on your face, fortune tellers and mediums find ways to help you make sense of your weird hormone-driven fantasies and get through puberty without feeling too ashamed afterwards. Totally not speaking from experience. Another societal phenomenon that is almost as relevant to the development of modern human psychology has been the domestication of cats because they’re cute and furry and lit af.

21 Average

Recently, rapper 21 Savage has reached popularity for his mediocre rap style, ability to not give a single care about anything, and his current world record attempt for longest time spent with eyes not fully open, closing in on Ben Carson’s current title. Due to this fame and the nature of society nowadays, people have now started impersonating him. There is already a rapper going by the name of 22 Savage.

Top 5 Weird-Al Songs To Have Sex To

1. Eat It

2. Trapped in the Drive Through

3. Albuquerque

4. Handy

5. Virus Alert

Calling All Scientists To Make a Change: Admit Neil Armstrong Was our First Alien

History, science, books, knowledge-brainiacs love this stuff. I get it guys, you love pushing the boundaries, getting stuff learned and learning it up! Same, totally, me too. But lately I have been struggling with the idea that some of my science-brain-brothers have been getting things mixed up.

Neil Armstrong along with 11 other people have all been on the moon and everyone’s all like “ooh what step for mankind” but I am not an idiot. Once a Being steps on a terrain outside their planet we all know that that makes them aliens.