Authors - Two and a Half Black Men

Point/Counterpoint - Point/Counterpoint

They say it was Benjamin Franklin who first invented the pro/con list. He sent a letter to a buddy describing how he can come to a decision by putting the pros on one side and the cons on the other. But now it’s 2017 so fuck Benjamin Franklin. We’re gonna show you plebs how to do a point counterpoint with the editors of GW providing co(unter)lour commen(poin)tary.

Study Shows Widening Gender Gap in Groups That Self-Identify As “The Boys”

The latest study to come out of the Queen’s Faculty of Polling has cast a long, gendered shadow over the entire campus this past Saturday. This study claims that over 99.5% of the individuals who are part of social groups which self-identify as “the Boys” are boys. This includes intentional misspellings such as “Bois”, or synonyms such as “Lads”, “Dudes” or “X-(Chromosome)-Men”. It seems the latest glass ceiling feminism needs to shatter has been staring at us right in the face, all wearing “this is my keg stand t-shirts” while doing a keg stand.

Man Talk

Welcome to Man Talk, a “by men on men” (the topic not the sex position) column to being a man in today’s troubled times. Navigating you through everything from sex, women, fashion to how to train your sphincter let loose manly low-pitched “baroom”-ey farts as opposed to squealy, feminine toots.

How to Fight Like a Large Animal and Fuck Like a Much Smaller One

Point/Counterpoint: TAPS Ruined Hazing for the Rest of Us

Warning: To understand the context of this story you have to Read the Journal. While obviously this is a distasteful venture to even the most hardened consumers of breathless, enthusiastic reporting of inane local news, we highly encourage you to read their article on “TAPS services to be locked for Hoco”, then promptly set the rest of the newspaper on fire and then put it out in a toilet, then flush that toilet. Point: Make Hazing Great Again

80% of Queen's Students Have Given Up on Their Academic Goals

Despite numerous exclamations all throughout the year, new polling has discovered that by today, the third day of class, four fifths of Queen’s students have completely reneged on their promise to turn their academic life around. All of the myriad goals the assembled student body had carefully pondered to successfully deliver the GPA that they had tearfully sworn to their parents, were completely forgotten in the haze of post-frosh week hangovers.

Man Seeking Blowcareer not Blowjob

To whom it may concern,

Fantasie Horoscopes

If it is your birthday on this fine morrow: 
Be wary of the winds of change. Cast a bronze copper into the fountain of youth, but don’t expect much as the wizards of Ragacius say the mana has waned with the dimming of the crescent moon. Also be wary of the pox, as it is rumoured to have spread past the mountains of Dunshire and onto the foothills of the noble kingdom of Vivador.

Queen’s Student Constables and Golden Words United... to Make a Fundraiser

The score is a bazillion to 0. The general populace of Queen’s against one of the most necessary and practical services on Campus and the Queen’s Student Constables. After such a bitter defeat, we put our heads together with everyone’s favourite party poopers to think of ways we could find some way out of our financial struggles. 

Bitter Horoscopes

Aries (March 21 - April 20 (420 blazeeee whattttt!))

Golden Wordstradamus

In the aftermath of the Justin Beiber Disaster two weeks ago, we at Golden Words released a light-hearted parody on the cover depicting a second Beiber night that was full of chaos and riots. It was a hoot. However, we did not realize at the time that this would be a sign that we can predict the future, because, evidently, the Underground has decided to host Beiber Night 2.0 this past Tuesday. Therefore, we are all seeing Gods. Here are some more predictions.