Issue 19

4919 Cover

What would happen if other classes were taught like Health 102?

In response to people defending the Health 102 profs ability to “teach the controversy”. This is what Golden Words thinks would happen if other courses were taught like Health 102.

HIST: This class will contain a unit on teaching Nazi values and perspectives. Did the Nazis have some good points? Are people with blonde hair and blue eyes actually the master race? History teaches the controversy.

Things Queen’s Could Do With $135,711.68 (Melody Torcolacci’s Salary)

Due to the recent controversy about Melody Torcolacci’s anti-vaccination lectures, Queen’s is deciding what they are going to do with her salary once they nix her. $135,711.68 is a lot of money to play around with, so I have compiled a short list of things that the University can do with $135,711.68.

1. Pay off news sources to not publish defaming articles about Queen’s professors

Valentine's Day Cards

Editorial: Tasting the World

Quick, define “Canadian cuisine”! And no, poutine is one dish; not an entire cuisine. C’mon, you’re in Canada, you have to know what your cuisine is! Don’t try the whole “Canadian cuisine isn’t a thing, we don’t have a culture” bullshit. I know Canadian cuisine is real, because even the menu at Silver Wok has a “Canadian Foods” section.

Editorial: The End is Nigh

Well, that’s it. Say goodbye to your loved ones, grab all the canned beans and twinkies you can carry, and head down into the other part of the basement, because the apocalypse is upon us.

And it’s about damn time!

Every year, some lunatic - be them a religious zealot or an ancient meso-american civilization, says the world is gonna end. And it never does. Frankly, I’d all but given up on the End of Days. Until this week that is, when I realized that we’ve finally brought upon our own reckoning in the goddamn stupidest of ways: people choosing not to vaccinate their kids.