Authors - Narwhal

Hip Hop Songs Encoded

Everyone knows hip hop and programming go hand in hand, therefore Golden Words has decided to translate some popular hip hop songs into code, in order to broaden the reach of this fantastic genre of music.

////////////////////

if (gotBuns == false)

    anaconda(dontWantNone);

else

    anaconda(doesWantSome);

////////////////////

pourUp();

drank();

headShot();

drank();

sitDown();

drank();

standUp();

drank();

////////////////////

if (bitch == inTheWay)

{

    move(bitch);

How To Wake Up In The Morning

It’s Wednesday, and you’re a university student. Chances are you have class today. That means you need to “wake up”. This is not as easy as it sounds. Here is a guideline you may use to go through the sequence of events that are involved in “waking up”.

Tinder For Tutors

Beets by Dre

Even Niners Are Better Than Frosh

Remember being in grade 9 and wondering why everyone hated you? Then being in grade 10 one year later and instantly realizing the answer? Same thing goes for first years, aka "frosh". You probably spent all of high school unconditionally hating every niner that crossed your path, but as you progress through university, you're probably realizing they weren’t the absolute worst people. Really, the people that truly deserve our focused hatred are the unfortunate souls I have previously mentioned, the only people that are worse than niners are frosh. Here's why:

Resume of a Golden Words Member

Hilarious Pseudonym

Clark Hall Pub

30 5th Field Company Lane

Kingston, ON K7L 3N6

(613) 533-6195

eds@goldenwords.com

Objective

To write a slightly entertaining article. Maybe it will lead to an interview for some reason.

Education

Queen’s University - Kingston, Ontario

  • Bachelor’s In Applied Satire Engineering
  • GPA: 69 (lol)

Summary of qualifications and skills

Snowshoe Tours

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