Authors - Ronald Dewbanger

Student Takes Johnson-Brock Shortcut Without Getting Shoes Wet

When the tenants of 368 Brock signed their lease, they had no idea that they would live next to the most frequented walking path in all of the Kingston student ghetto. The path is often considered treacherous terrain for most of the Queen’s student body, with frigid ice fields or vast muddy oceans depending on the season. On any given day, hundreds of students can be seen sliding through the mud on the way to class.

Student Takes Johnson-Brock Shortcut Without Getting Shoes Wet

When the tenants of 368 Brock signed their lease, they had no idea that they would live next to the most frequented walking path in all of the Kingston student ghetto. The path is often considered treacherous terrain for most of the Queen’s student body, with frigid ice fields or vast muddy oceans depending on the season. On any given day, hundreds of students can be seen sliding through the mud on the way to class.

US Ambassador to Russia Under Fire for Alleged Contact with Russia

In the first few months of Donald Trump’s presidency, the entire political landscape of the United States has been shifted, and the promises to crush the Democratic establishment have largely been fulfilled. However the Trump White House has continually been plagued by accusations of ties to Vladimir Putin, which have already forced the resignation of National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, and caused Attorney General Jeff Sessions to recuse himself from any investigation into Russian meddling in the American elections.

Legendary Pictures Announces: "The Dark Knight Circumsises", Starring Jewish Bale

After five years of anxiously awaiting, fans of DC Comics have been raving over the recent announcement of a new entry in the Dark Knight franchise. However, not all are enjoying the polarizing news that the movie will star acclaimed actor, Jewish Bale, as Batman. The movie, slated to arrive in May 2017, will be titled “The Dark Knight Circumcises”, and will focus on Batman’s rebirth as a spunky Jewish teen growing up in mid-1960s Brooklyn.

CIA Unveils Donald Trump's Ties to Russia

Since even before Donald Trump was elected President of The United States of America, he has been dogged by accusations of secret ties to Russia. Journalists have documented countless intersections between his own business interests and those of Russian oligarchs, and his own campaign manager Paul Manafort was forced to step down upon discovering a link to pro-Russian Ukrainian politics. This morning, the CIA finally unveiled all of these secret ties to the world.

Two Classmates Share Subtle Nods Upon Realization That They Both Use Reddit

At 1:55pm on January 11th, two students sitting half-asleep in a MECH323 lecture formed an unbreakable bond after discovering that were both browsing popular social media platform Reddit. Dhamn Daniels was taking notes on gear design, particularly related to the addendum and dedendum circles on the gear teeth, when he decided to take a quick study break and check the recent updates on /r/hiphopheads, the hip-hop forum within Reddit.

Hottest New Escape Room, The United States of America, Opening January 20th

After a controversial year filled with many ups and downs, an extremely fun new trend emerged to take our mind off of the senseless deaths in Hollywood, and the tragedies in places like Aleppo: escape rooms. For the uninitiated, escape rooms are fun experiences where a group of people are locked in a room, and must solve a series of puzzles to finally open the door and escape the room, while under a strict time limit. Escape rooms have quickly gained traction as a quick way to see your friends without any further social commitment!

Wow! Mike Pence Condemns Hamilton Cast In Audience At His One-Man Magic Show

A mere week ago, VP-elect Mike Pence was chastised during a performance of Hamilton in New York City for the ways in which his administration would potential act for certain minorities. In a stunning turn of events, the cast of Hamilton found themselves in a tight spot when they realized that they were sitting front row at none other than Zap!: A Mike Pence Night of Magic and faced an earful from Pence after the show.

Political Experts Blame Phallic Shaped State Florida for Fucking America

At around 10pm on November 8th, 2016, liberal America’s worst nightmares began to become reality. Hillary Clinton, long favoured to win the election for 45th American President, had been flip-flopping on a lead in the state of Florida against Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump. Suddenly, the votes in the rural northern regions of the state were tallied up, and it became clear that Donald Trump was going to take the state of Florida.

Pretentious Indie Band Starts Every Show By Taking Photos of the Audience

The cigarette smoke in a local art gallery basement is thick, and the sounds of orca noises play over the PA system. It’s ten minutes before the first show of the recently reunited band Bänd, a german technocrat-pop group who has been playing underground shows on and off since 1946. Forming seemingly spontaneously on the scene, the band quickly gained a cult-like following amongst the local outsiders.

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