Authors - Nigerian Prince

Student Thinks AMS Interview Went "Solid, I Guess"

Ryan Alton thought that his chance to work at TAPS was close to zero from the beginning. After enjoying going QP for all of his second year, he decided that it was somewhere he wanted to work - and why not? He used his OSAP money for beer and now he needed to pay for his OSAP in a weird cycle of college drinking culture. So he applied online through the AMS website. Luckily for him, he met the initial 3 or more quarter-zip quota and made it to the group interview round. However, this group interview would prove to be more difficult than he expected.

Queen's Professor Finally Figures Out How To Make Projector Work

After years of postdoctoral research on Gauss-Euler homomorphic rings in a Unidirectional field under nonlinear Riemann transformations, Dr. Augustus Yelton made his greatest scientific breakthrough yet. This past Monday, March 20th, Yelton figured out how to turn on the projector before his second lecture of the day. For other mathematicians in his field, the discover is both astounding and a remarkable breakthrough.

Student Disappointed Corgi Was Just CoGro Autocorrected

It was a sad day for Jonathan Robert Mueller as he received an exciting iMessage from one of his close friends. Jeremy Levin, his canmate in Leggett in first year, was always loyal to him and would help him no matter the cause. When Mueller got his penis stuck in that makeshift cold cut fleshlight, Levin helped, using saliva, to get him out of it. When Mueller got his penis stuck in a mug, Levin yanked him out. When he got his penis stuck in a hockey puck, Levin was really confused but helped anyway.

Student Unsure If Spilled Chilli Or Vomit On Aberdeen

Jared DePencier wasn’t expecting what would befall him that day. In fact, he wasn’t thinking about all that much other than the 1:30pm chem lab that he was running late for. Attendance marks were being taken and DePencier’s participation had been lacking up to that point.

Frosh Crosses Street During Red Light For the First Time

Initially apprehensive, first year John Hudson, majoring in economics, philosophy, music, and maybe politics I guess, made history earlier this morning. At 11:28am, at the intersection of Johnson and Division street, Hudson was the first frosh of the year to cross the street during a red light. Looking both ways before crossing, Hudson received audible gasps from his Class of 2020 peers as he made his way across the street.

Student Thinks JDUC Tim Hortons Line Might Be Shorter, It’s Not

(An image of a long Tims line. Fuck.)

In a rocking revelation, Sarah Rutherford, a second year economics major, realized that the JDUC Tim Hortons line could possibly be a whole lot faster than the ARC line. This conclusion resulted in increased stress and anticipation for Rutherford, even though the line actually wasn’t shorter at all. This idea came to her suddenly when she was about to pass the Pizza Pizza in line.

How to Write the Perfect Essay for Class

Hey folks, ya boi Nigerian Prince aka ANALBUTT$TUFF aka Knock-Off Versace Necklace aka Donatello aka Master Sphincter aka D in the A/B in the P here bringing you another HOT tutorial on how to bullshit your way through school, just like how you’re going to bullshit your way through life after. In this tutorial, we’re going to take a trip down Typewriter Lane and jerk our gherkins to one of the most challenging parts of academia; writing an essay.

Local Student Surprised to Learn Underrated Acquaintance Also Listens to Chance the Rapper

At a local party celebrating Katie’s birthday, Jacob Roberts came to discover that his acquaintance, Max Russell also listens to Chance the Rapper. Known to Roberts through a Political Science tutorial from first year, the two third years quickly gained a newfound respect for one another for listening to what Russell called “a suuuuuper underrated gem” and “a great guy”, continuing to note that, “a buddy of mine’s older brother ran a music festival in Boston that he headlined and apparently he’s super chill from their 5 second interaction”.

Girl Giving Out Cookies In Stauffer Library Doing It Just To Make You Feel Like An Asshole

            While many students studying in Stauffer or Douglas take refuge in knowing that shortly after their arrival they will be bombarded with various baked goods and treats, it actually turns out that many of these cookie givers have much more nefarious aims. Golden Words has the exclusive story.

Goldifrosh and the Three Fuckboys

Gather round the hearth children, and listen to the story of a tale of woe. For university is a scary place, filled with new experiences and crying after getting said new experiences finished with after 2 minutes. The following is a tale for those who dare to think that they can tackle all that Queen’s has at once. Rest assured that all you shall hear henceforth is true. I mean I saw the whole thing happening. Seriously, who would just go and lie under an anonymous pseudonym? Behold, the story of Goldifrosh and the Three Fuckboys.