Volume 51

Hey Kevin O’Leary, is a Hot Dog a Sandwich?

As a poorly-informed millennial who does not understand the difference between a senator and a cabinet (isn’t one a hockey team and the other furniture??), I feel that I have the utmost right to ask Kevin O’Leary a series of essential questions to determine if he is fit for Conservative leadership…he is politician right? Oh wait, he lies all the time, makes lots of money, and looks like a knock-off Danny Devito. Yep, yep he’s a politician.

Student Thinks AMS Interview Went "Solid, I Guess"

Ryan Alton thought that his chance to work at TAPS was close to zero from the beginning. After enjoying going QP for all of his second year, he decided that it was somewhere he wanted to work - and why not? He used his OSAP money for beer and now he needed to pay for his OSAP in a weird cycle of college drinking culture. So he applied online through the AMS website. Luckily for him, he met the initial 3 or more quarter-zip quota and made it to the group interview round. However, this group interview would prove to be more difficult than he expected.

I Tried Going Vegan For a Week and Ended Up Murdering My Family

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian”. These wise words were muttered by the early Paul McCartney and really made me rethink my life choices. I’ve been a meat-eater my whole life and never gave two thoughts about the processes put that food on my plate: veal, beef, venison, fish, salmon, poultry and ouvrier. If it exists, i’ve put it in my mouth. Which is why I decided to change to up last week and not only be a vegetarian, but also a vegan. So i’m gonna go ahead and take the liberty and finish Mr.

Top 5 Things to do in Residence Before the End of First Year

Boy oh boy, it’s been a wild ride. With week 11 halfway done and exam season turning from a faint sense of worry to your last chance at not failing out of university, it’s time to reflect on the year so far. Specifically, for all the first years, and I guess upper years who still have keys to their residences (yeah, we know you’re out there), it’s time to consider how you’ve spent your time in residence.

SpongeBob SquarePants Fails to Accurately Depict the Triumphs of Western Society

I’m back bitches, and as usual I’m here to preach real issues to you. I’ve heard enough talk this week about stupid shit that nobody cares about, like health insurance for millions of people and Russian spying. I feel that if I want to earn my position as editor, I need to treat this publication as a way to promote true journalism, and write about actual issues. So, let’s talk about the failures of Spongebob to depict Western society in a proper light. What better way is there to talk about Western Society than this?

All Nighters: Do’s and Don'ts

We’ve all been there. It’s Sunday afternoon and you have not started an assignment. An important assignment. An assignment that’s due in less than 24 hours. Fuck.

Steps for Making the Most out of Your Professional Meetings

Meetings, meetings, meetings. They're the crust of the peanut butter sandwich that is university. Group projects, training sessions, fighting those “desecration of burial sight” charges you got cause you were just a bit too lit on st paddy’s - it's just a whole bunch of time better spent getting high and watching Seinfeld reruns. Unfortunately, meetings are a part of your boring af everyday life and they’re not much you can do about it unless you’re willing to burn off you fingerprints and learn the paraguayan national anthem.

Teen Dream Magazine’s Thrifty Guide to Scoring a Date with Bruno Mars

We at Teen Dream profess that there’s a star out there for every girl, whatever her type may be! If you’re into adorkable foreign boys, Ed Sheeran’s your dream man! You like Canadian coke heads with nice cars, get ready to fight Selena cause your man is The Weeknd (or Justin Bieber)! And if your style is Lionel Richie with balls there’s no better man than Bruno Mars! For years girls have wondered how to win the heart of this enigmatic superstar.

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Queen's Professor Finally Figures Out How To Make Projector Work

After years of postdoctoral research on Gauss-Euler homomorphic rings in a Unidirectional field under nonlinear Riemann transformations, Dr. Augustus Yelton made his greatest scientific breakthrough yet. This past Monday, March 20th, Yelton figured out how to turn on the projector before his second lecture of the day. For other mathematicians in his field, the discover is both astounding and a remarkable breakthrough.