Authors - A Christian Dad Who Vapes

Why I Decided to Stop Drinking

This is your favourite vaping Christian dad here, just checking in. After a rough weekend, I’ve decided to stop drinking altogether. This is not so much about health concerns as it is about just enjoying life to its fullest. From now on I will never drink anything again. I will not drink in social situations, I will not drink before going out, and I will certainly not drink alone. Even with a nice meal, I will not drink. Don’t worry though, I will never stop vaping. So, here are ten reasons why I decided to stop drinking:

How I Learned to Accept the Results of My Pottermore Quiz, Even Though It Said My Patronus Was a Moldy Pizza Slice

In life, I have found that being proud of who you are goes a long way towards being a better person. I have tried to be comfortable with how I look, how intelligent I am, how much people like me, and how boring my penis is. These were long processes – you cannot just wake up one day and decide that you are okay with being one hundred pounds overweight. This sort of acceptance takes time to heal. However, some epiphanies have more weight than others.

A Guide to Not Getting Involved In Facebook Arguments

Writing comments on Facebook about why Syrian refugees are, in fact, people and not poisoned skittles or peanuts may seem like a heroic way to spend your time. You may be the kind of person who thinks this will make you feel better, or in some way improve your life. This would be wrong. The key to living a healthy lifestyle is avoiding these internet debates at all costs, for the sake of your own mental well-being and the protection of your soul. Below are some useful tips for helping you avoid Facebook arguments.

Daniel Woolf to Institute Temporary Ban of Commerce Program

RICHARDSON HALL, KINGSTON: The office of the Principal was filled with authoritative white people on this past Tuesday, January 31st. Together they smiled with Principal Woolf as they erased the rights of all commerce students – a visible minority within the Queen’s student body.

Students Propose turning Stauffer Library into Actual Nightclub

QUEEN’S UNIVERSITY, KINGSTON: Saturday saw the revelation that one AMS executive team in the current election intends to turn The Underground into a study space for half of every week. Citing the need for increased study space, the proposal suggests using The Underground as a library from Sunday to Wednesday.

Report: Alistair Wants You To Wait Before You Sign The Lease

THE STUDENT GHETTO: To the surprise of nobody except you, Alistair Bateman, a 1st year prospective POLS major (and your future housemate), is not ready to sign the lease. After much deliberation, Alistair has decided it may be better to wait before any rash actions are taken. Unprompted, Alistair told interviewers “I’m just not sure that we should sign before doing our due diligence. Yes, all of us like the house, but what if we move in and realize we made a mistake?”

Golden Words Guide to Writing a Resume

As we at Queen’s enter our second semester of the year, we naturally enter crunch time for the summer job hunt. Enter January; when everybody suddenly cares about having something to do for their summer break. Fear not, ye desperate labourers – Golden Words has a guide that will change your fortunes for the better. Follow the guidelines below for many helpful tips on creating the best resume ever!

The Golden Words Guide to Coping with Tragedy

Following an eventful week for our neighbour to the South, it has become essential for Golden Words to do its best to aid any Queen’s students going through tough times in reaction. Seek the step by step guideline below for help coping with tragic events like an orange baboon’s presidential victory.

A Tale of Two Presidents

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of Kanye, it was the age of the Kardashians, it was the epoch of environmentalism, it was the epoch of fundamentalism, it was the season of Five-Thirty-Eight, it was the season of Breitbart, it was the spring of exceptionalism, it was the winter of sensationalism, we had Bernie Sanders before us, we had Ted Cruz before us, we were all going directly to go, we were all going directly to jail – in short, the contest was so far unlike all the presidential elections before it, that some of our nosiest POLS students insisted on

Facts About Queen’s That Will SHOCK YOU If You’re Easily Surprised

1) Queen’s University can be found in Kingston, Ontario – home of the world-renowned baseball team “The KP Saints” (this is real).
2) Queen’s University was named to honour Mary, Queen of Scotts – the only surviving legitimate child of King James V of Scotland.
3) Queen’s has given honourary degrees to many notable figures, such as Franklin D. Roosevelt, Gordon Downie, and Carlos Bustamante – Host of YTV’s The Zone.
4) Grant Hall was funded entirely by students using GoFundMe.com.

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