Authors - Sam-I-Am-Not

Top Five Weird Al Songs to Listen to Before Your Divore Proceedings

1. Christmas at Ground Zero

2. Bedrock Anthem

3. Headline News

4. I’ll Sue Ya

5. If That Isn’t Love

Sam-I-am-not (sure why I got married)

I Tried Not Going to Class for a Week, You’ll Never Guess What Happened Next

Ok so in keeping with the proud 21st century tradition of hard hitting Buzzfeed-esque journalism I decided to undertake some sort of stupid experiment for a week to see if anything unexpected happened. The only question was what experiment should I undertake? I considered trying to live with a heroin addiction for a week, but that would be expensive and definitely end up lasting for way more than a week. Next I thought I could try not wearing clothes for a week, but then I realised I do not have the body for that and I’m not sure that my self confidence could take a hit that large.

Top Five Weird Al Songs to Listen to After you Find Out Your Wife Has Been Cheating On You

1. Alimony

2. Angry White Boy Polka

3. A Complicated Song

4. I Can’t Watch This

5. I’m So Sick of You

Sam-I-Am-Not (Sure Why She Would Do This)

Top Five Weird Al Songs to Listen to on Your Honeymoon

1. I love Rocky Road

2. You don’t Love Me Anymore

3. Achy Breaky Song

4. Perform This Way

5. Canadian Idiot

Sam -I-Am-Not (A Good Honeymoon DJ

Top Five Weird Al Songs to Listen to at Your Wedding

1. eBay

2. Dare to be Stupid

3. Fat

4. Pretty Fly for a Rabbi (Rabbi Goldstein will love this one)

5. Tacky

Sam-I-Am-Not-(Disappointed with Rabbi Goldstein’s Dance Moves)

Things to Send Your Crush That Say "I'm Always Watching You"

We live in exciting times. What makes the times we live in exciting is that you no longer need expertise or experience in order to provide an opinion or advice on something. For some people that something is religion, for an annoyingly large fucking number of people (certain heads of state included) that something is politics, and for me that something is romance. Now since this is only a widely distributed newspaper available publicly to anyone with the misfortune to pick it up I feel like I can be honest with you, our cherished readers. I have no idea how to romance.

Faking it: A University Student's Guide on How to Make it Look Like Your Life isn't Falling Apart Even Though it Actually is

If you’re anything like me right now is about the time of year that life comes crumbling down around you. You have 10 due dates in the next week and a half, your relationships are under strain, you spent too much time getting drunk, and you haven’t opened a book since December. Now this is a situation rife with opportunity. Your life hasn’t actually fallen apart yet.

Tips for House Hunting Frosh

It’s that time of year again. The least magical time of year. The time of year that will see you face more rejection than you faced at your first high school dance. The time of year that will see you stay awake ‘till the wee hours of the morning with crippling panic attacks and turn you against your fellow students–It’s house hunting season. You’ve probably already found out that house hunting sucks. It sucks so so so much. You’ve been told that “you were great, but there was one other group that was better” and that “we’ll call you if the signing falls through”.

Top 5 Weird-Al Songs To Have Sex To

1. Eat It

2. Trapped in the Drive Through

3. Albuquerque

4. Handy

5. Virus Alert

Types of Parties Ranked From Worst to Best

Political Party: