Authors - Golda Meir

Golda Meir’s Guide to Dealing with Social Anxiety

So you’re an introvert. Who cares, it’s not a big deal! We’ve all been there: It’s a Saturday night and you’re stupid friend Derek (ugh, Derek) texts you. There’s a kegger in the ghetto and “you should totally come!” When you get there, it doesn’t take long for Derek (ugh, Derek) to completely disappear, leaving you alone, uncomfortable and downright verklempt in a stew of sweat and Pabst Blue Ribbon. I know, you want to disappear in the comforting glow of The Spongebob Squarepants Movie on your computer, but do not despair.

Golden Words Guide to a DIY Vasectomy

We’ve all been there: it’s a Saturday night, you’re out with the guys and some chick is grinding you up like a chicken mcnugget factory. It’s getting hot and steamy (imagine a third world sweatshop) and you’re ready to get you some action. One problem: you forgot a condom.

Fuck. You want to plant your flag, not your seed, and you need a solution quick. All your friends are already getting some, and you’re on your own with some chick that could probably pop out a baby faster than you can say “Woah, you popped out that baby really fast.”

I’m a Jerk in Public, so What’s the Big Deal if I Jerk it?

Ok guys, I’ve got a bone to pick, and it’s about picking bones. I mean seriously, what’s all the fuss about having a little jerk while you’re out and about? Let’s break this down.

Masturbation is a totally natural behaviour, period. We all have those urges, and sometimes when it gets too hard to handle, you gotta handle what’s hard.

3rd Year student sneaks into res, keeps door open in attempt to make first friend

This past Friday, local 2nd year Con-Ed student Dennis O’Neil silently made his way into room 204 of Vic A, leaving the door open in hopes of making one friend at university.

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