Authors - Fap God

Reading the Signs: Dream Catz

Interpreting dreams is a practice as old as people have been having them. While it can be difficult to understand what it means when you dream about your best friend’s mom twerking on your face, fortune tellers and mediums find ways to help you make sense of your weird hormone-driven fantasies and get through puberty without feeling too ashamed afterwards. Totally not speaking from experience. Another societal phenomenon that is almost as relevant to the development of modern human psychology has been the domestication of cats because they’re cute and furry and lit af.

Life Hacks for Creative Wacks

The internet makes up the vital foundation for every aspect of our technological society. Whether it’s your online banking, sharing nuclear launch codes or getting some porn to masturbate to, the internet makes it possible. So what happens when your router stops working? Fret not, for while your banking and nuclear launch codes will have to wait, fap time will thankfully not. So grab your lotions and get ready to rub, because in this article you will find a plethora of different ways to entertain yourself without the need for PornHub or other such pornographic outlets.

Waka Flocka Flame Burns Down Local Preschool

A preschool in the Kingston area tragically burned down this Wednesday when notorious rapper and OG Juaquin James Malphurs, better known by his stage name “Waka Flocka Flame”, dropped one bar too many during his son’s “bring your parent to work day”. Three children were admitted to the Kingston General Hospital for severe burns, while many more required their teddy bears in order to cope with the traumatizing experience.

DEANte’s Inferno - The 9 Circles of Eng

It’s 10:30 pm. You are attempting to complete ILCBO with only 2 of your friends over the Halloweekend. Being your average unprepared to students, you didn’t manage to find any hard liquor besides Kraken (47% alcohol, 100% a bad time). Working from top to bottom, your small group manages to crush the 3rd floor in under ten minutes. The second floor is where shit starts to get messy. The event begins to turn into less of a recreational activity and more into a drunken chore, as each room full of late-night ILC grinders express more and more concern for your well-being.

Spoopy Halloween Costume Ideas

Are you at a loss for what to wear on Halloween? Scared that your ideas are shitty or unoriginal? Don’t worry, you are not alone. Dozens of uncreative people just like you struggle with the same problem year after year. If you want to find a costume that isn’t totally overused like “zombie” or “sexy bunny”, you might just want to consider some of the following ideas that I have listed in this article. And if you decide to use any of these please send me a donation on tilt because these ideas don’t come cheap and neither does engineering. Nudes are available for donations of $10 and up.

So you Want to Make it Big, Huh?

So you want to make it big, huh?

Meanwhile in a Parallel Universe...

Darkness. Emptiness. Then, suddenly, light. You open your eyes, only to find yourself alone in the guy’s washroom on the fourth floor of Douglas Library. You stumble to your feet, and rubbing your eyes, you wonder why you had to take those extra 6 shots of Smirnoff. So much ragrets. As you drag yourself down the stairs to the exit, you reflect on how amazing your first night at Queen’s University was.