Authors - Scratchy Beav

What if Guy Fieri Played Dumbledore? : An Exerpt from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry made to speak again, but this time Guy Fieri raised his hand for silence, frowning slightly at the emerald liquid, evidently thinking hard. He said, finally, “This potion must act in a way that will prevent me taking the Horcrux. It might paralyze me, cause me to forget what I am here for, create so much pain I am distracted, or remove my ability to taste gangsta ass meals. This being the case, Harry, it will be your job to make sure I keep drinking, even if you have to tip the potion into my goatee guarded mouth. You understand, dude?”

A REVIEW OF JORDAN PEELE’S “GET OUT (of my swamp)”

“The movie is a marvelous fairy tale, with a thrilling quest and a happily-ever-after ending. Get Out has the great themes of enduring myths, about believing in yourself, being loved for the person you really are, and good triumphing over evil. It is also a delicious satire, tweaking all of our assumptions about ogres, princesses, rescues, and even fire-breathing dragons. The voice talents of Mike Myers (as the Scottish-burred Shrek), Eddie Murphy (as Donkey the talking donkey), Cameron Diaz (as Princess Fiona), and John Lithgow (as Farquaad) are all perfect.

Reading Week Packing List

With reading week right around the corner, it’s time to start packing for your vacation down south! We at golden words took the liberty of making this list of some cool and fun essential items to bring. Don’t worry about packing your standards or your dignity, those will also be on vacation.

Sunscreen: Since you live in Kingston, there’s no doubt in our mind that your skin is paler than Michael Jackson in 2011. Slap on some sunscreen so you don’t end up coming back as red as Mr. Krabs and crusty like my favorite rock sock (Krusty Krab :P).